• Sexy (V-shaped body… and he’s a fireman & paramedic? A given.)
• Great personality (Caring, hard worker, funny)
• Settled (Ex. His car had a fucked up tire yesterday, so he ended up with a new black Camero today)
• Age: roughly 24, 25. PERFECT for me.

My teacher knows I want to get to know him, but she totally burst my bubble today when she said I was too young. I’m turning 20 this Saturday, the age difference isn’t that bad. Plus, I don’t want to waste away my life either! I have goals just like he does, soooo? Idk. I drool at the thought of him, haha.. not even creepy. He can be my Tiger Balm to all my aches and pains ;D What a tiger… whewww!

Downfall: I don’t think he notices me ALL that much. I don’t know HOW to with him. I can always make a guy’s head turn (and not in the conceited way, people, I just know how), but with him? Like fuck, barely. I make him smile when I make a joke in class, but he tries SUPER hard to hold it in, I can so tell. My teacher said, “we need to funk you up.” I’m ALREADY funky!! How much more funky can I get!? Do I need to do my lashes every day? And shit, if I switch seats to sit by him it wouldn’t be any more noticeable since I sit in the 2nd row and he sits in the BACK. Hi, like I’m Jeanette and I try like, like, like really hard. Ha-ha! No. Whatever, if he wants to know me, here I am.

Yeahhh, my dogs. There’s Sasha and then there’s Philly, both are girls and both are spoiled. Because of Sasha’s past experience with gardeners, she just so happens to hate them, and since she hates them… so does Philly Willikins. I get on their booties when Thursday comes around though because their barking makes me tick, it’s as if they take turns on the barks.

Today was a pretty quiet day though, so I decided to give them treats :D Philly, being the sausage she is, ended up eating Sasha’s treat, BUT! I came to the rescue and saved the other half for her. I held it to her mouth… juuust waiting, “C’mon Sashi, Sashaaa… Sashiiiiiiii.. SASHA.” Nope. Gave that other half to the mini fatty— since she’d never say no. Never. Solution? Got Sasha a piece of turkey :D Figured, hell… she really deserves a treat. I shall give the K-9 that of which brings her utmost contentment! Nawwww dog. I was wagging the deli meat in her face, she even went from a lying down position to sitting upright because she got offended -___- I had to result to a level in which only beast and man whose understanding is deeper than root and soil. I had… to tickle her ear. Three times. And she totally accepted my deli! Jigga WHAAAA? Yeah, awkward and awesome all at once. :)

Not that magical shit either.

We had lecture yesterday, and so we went over “Mushroom ID.” I love mushrooms. It’s the texture that gets me, I guess; the whole soft, slight rubbery, one texture fits all, mildly fibrous sort of shenanigan is what makes me love them the way I do. I was jumping in class, people. AND, we didn’t just get to look at pretty raw mushrooms, no… because my Chef decided to saute them in butter with shallots and garlic— each and every type that we had. The Chanterelle mushroom was like velvet, seriously imagine the texture of velvet, IN YOUR MOUTH. I tried all of them!! So yummy :) The only mushroom that I wasn’t too crazy about was the Trumpet because it was really gritty, like “Oh hello there pieces of dirt.” Maybe if it’s washed…

I think I’m cursed with working with people when it’s their last day. On Hugo’s last day, I got burned and had to leave him stranded on a Saturday night to go to the ER. Yesterday was Danny’s last day.

All that butter and mushroom didn’t go to my butt. Nope. It went straight for the stomach; I felt nauseous and I had work in 30 minutes. When I got there, I made myself a carbonated drink to hopefully get me through my shift (ginger ale, Minute Maid Lemonade, and some raspberry puree— because I can). Fuck that shit, with every sip came hell. I even went into the walk-in for some salad mix, and I couldn’t stay inside because there was chicken cooling down and the smell was making me gag. My shift lasted for 2:54 hours and I left Danny alone. I love my boss Jackie, “Go home mama, it’s slow right now for him. When he needs me, I’ll go.”

So I got home, unsure if the feeling my stomach was giving off was hunger or nausea, and ate a little bit of food and knocked out. Then woke up, ate a plate of fruit, then knocked out. Woke up at 3:46am, washed my face and brushed my teeth just to (once again) knock out. The first nap really helped me. I shall remain a shroom lover!!! I just don’t know exactly when I’ll take my next bite (and how many either).

It’s crazy, like it’s happening so fast! I think I’m going to take the externship. Why not, right?

My boss, Jackie, called me roughly an hour ago asking if I work today.

• SUNDAYS: A day where school is nonexistent. A day that work is a foreign word, more than the Spanish language. A complete day of nothingness.

I told her that I don’t. “Why not?!” Umm… I just have these days off? I don’t know, what a strange question… “Well Alexis called off today and I was seeing if you could work” LONG pause— I actually decided to call her back. 1) I can get paid a possible $60 today, it’ll feel like they’re just handing it to me. 2) I can actually enjoy my Sunday and have a mental health day and NOT be cranky ;) Called back and told her that I had plans with family.

I always said that it’s better to be mentally intact than to be running after money. Money comes and goes, but happiness is a bitch to get back. So for as much as I feel that I could be missing out on moolah and showing dedication to my job, no… Before I can please others, I have to please myself.

BE GONE FROM MEEEEE!

Friday and Saturday I slept in for 10 hours, and my days were gone… Last night I made sure to do otherwise. 7 1/2 hours baby! OWWW! And now I’m going to get ready to take my car for a wash, I’ll detail it myself, and go to the gym because I haven’t gone for roughly a week due to work. Fuck that shit, people!

Oh… The hose attacked me yesterday. I literally got drenched. I screamed, and probably jumped around (flapping my arms in the air like some maniac) for awhile because I didn’t know where the fuck it was, there was just water…. everywhere. So cold… So wet. It was a good laugh for a Saturday night’s closing :)

Talking to myself today… at work. haha. OKAY, so check it:

When the kitchen is all sorts of crazy and busy, and me being all sorts of forgettable, I’ll have to repeat in my head what it is that I’ll need. Example: I’m low on wonton bowl bags (we pre-bag them) and need carrots for our crab wontons, so I’ll get the two from the walk-in. Let’s just say that was the case for today… As I was walking in the back, I forgot what I needed (SECONDS after I walked away from my station). So I was like, shit… what do I even need? Mind you, this was happening all night.. ha. I then peered over the corner to look at my station and started literally repeating to myself what I needed, and was like “what the heck did I need? Okayyy, okay I think I might need a blank and blank.. I feel like there’s something else blah blah blah…” As my mouth was running off, my eyes look forward and I see a server just staring at me, jaw dropped, and a smiled formed. I’m like.. oh FUCK… hahahaha. WHAT A DING DONG, I am, “I can’t believe you saw that, you weren’t supposed to witness that!” Then he gestured as if he was looking around a corner— eyes all wide, back hunched, “I don’t want to work here… When do I get off…. My like sucks… Maybe I can just walk out, they won’t even notice…” and that sort of bullshit… hahaha.

Embarrassing moment of the day.

Maybe I don’t ask how you’re feeling/ since the question will spur memories that will stop your healing. Maybe I’m just a smidge aware that you’re hurt/ but just because I’m not showing you, don’t even attempt to make me feel like dirt. Maybe I’d like to know how you feel right now amidst everything/ but whenever you set dates to catch up, you somehow lack remembering. It’s been, what? Fives times now that you’ve wanted to hang out/ I guess my best friend’s time is dedicated to her boyfriend right now. Hey, you’re not with him? No big deal, my fault/ you’re with your family and that gives me no reason to assault. But between the two, you can’t find the time to squeeze me in/ somehow forgetting that I’m not as flexible as I have been. I’m not the girl who comes running faster than lighting just by the sound of her name/ but this does not make me the bad guy, and let me explain: we both have changed/ our times have been taken up, work, school, people and all/ so don’t dare try to slash me with words on the internet when you barely text or call. Check your phone, how many “missed” somethings from me are there? I probably try harder than you, but no… that would be unfair. If you really want to hurt me, you’re doing a swell job/ but I’m not some asshole who’s going to sit there and sob. It’s sad that I have to say all this, but you know that it is true/ and I’d love to fix all this, but “when” is up to you.

Translation: The sweets are so yummy.

Yes, that was “me” doing an online “French accent,” nifty right? Don’t have to tell me twice, haha. Anywho! I made desserts in class today:

• Creme Brulee
• Pot de Creme
• Flan

I don’t get to test their taste until Friday, but they all looked pretty good. The creme brulee might have been a smidge overcooked, but it was my first time if it ends up not turning out top notch— no biggie :) And I brought lemon meringue home, my mom was pleased haha. Baking rules.