I just can’t help but wonder, what exactly am I missing out on? 

My heart longs for it, but I’m tired of this constant road of inconsistent indecisiveness. Chef? Art teacher? Nutritionist? Animator? If you really want to know a dirty little secret, the 2nd career seems most appealing to me; yet here I am, paying a good thousands of dollars, to get a diploma in cooking. Not even an A.A. I mean, food can most definitely be art, but still… nothing compares to the feeling I get when I take hold of a pencil (or paint brush) and create an image solely from my imagination onto paper, canvas, anything. The whole world is blocked out, and I feel 100% at an ease; as if I’m taken to a location where a barrier is formed around me and my body, my mind is safe.

I know I’m young, but I’m not the type to think that “I have all the time in the world,” because you never truly know when your last second will be. I want to just explore foreign places; maybe through that I’ll come across my soul, my desires, and/or a sense of pleasure through peace. And art brings me that, it brings me peace, it puts me at ease! When a hobby/ passion for something is transformed into a career, it shouldn’t feeling like working and one does what he loves. I don’t know if I should take that road, the art road, and make a decent amount of money, or take the culinary— where I can make a good amount, and set my art to the side as just a hobby. I can have both worlds, right? Fuck it, I can have my cake and eat it too! My mind set just needs to stay: never give up, never surrender. All I do it be keepin’ it fresh epic.